The summer has flown by in a blur of action and writing. Stellar Navigation is coming slowly but surely. I haven’t experienced the same sense of urgency and, dare I say it, obsession that I experienced with Safe Distances. Yet I’m writing nearly every day and the writing has been good, satisfying, and intense, but for some reason I feel oddly separate from it. The real world is intruding far too much.
Which brings me to the point of my post. A friend of mine, Cathy Lott, who is a writer on the cusp of finding her voice asked me the other day, “How do you come to work and concentrate every day when your head is with your story?” I seriously have no earthly idea, but I wish more than anything I didn’t have to, and lately I’m finding it hard to find my portal to my story world. I joke about living in my alternate reality full time, but truly it is not a joke. I am more and more unsatisfied with my techy job, and I dream of the day when I will be teaching again – part time, and writing all I want. I long for mornings of sitting in cafes with Amie (my wonderful publicist and a writer in her own right) and Jen (author of The Crossing and I, too, Have Suffered in the Garden) as we pen our ways toward destiny.
So many of my friends are in the same boat with their music and art and writing. It’s absurd that we live in a societal paradox where we value our artists, but only a few lucky ones, and the rest of us languish in the ranks of “productivity.” Why is designing software systems for ecommerce considered productive while writing books isn’t necessarily? And if my techy job is more important than my writing, why does it leave me empty and underwhelmed?
As humans (at least the ones who travel in my circles) we crave creative expression, long for it like a lover. It gives us a completeness beyond productivity. It validates our existence. I know I am not doing what I am here in the world for when I am sitting in that sterile sad little cubicle. Ironically, I only know that I am real when I’m living in my alternate reality. It’s a messed up a world y’all.
In June my wonderful psychic and reiki practitioner, Melissa Jacobsen, told me that I was unhappy in my job, and it was sapping my creative energy. At the time I thought she had missed the mark. I was still convincing myself that I liked my job. But she hit the bullseye. I wonder if I put myself out there, cast myself over the edge and quit my job, would the universe rise up to meet me? Would I find that my writing reached a wide and enthusiastic audience that paid me well to do what I love like JKR? Can one actually help destiny along by trusting in it? Or is quitting a lucrative “productive” job just tempting fate? What do you think?
By the way join me and my destiny by following me on Twitter at geodesyseries. Then you will be the first to know the answers. Amy is tweeting away for me now and so many incredible things are about to happen!